Thinking back to my own relationship with my grandparents, it is very very different to that of Little Miss and her relationship with her grandparents.
My memories of my grandparents were the fact that they did not physically love me, they never hugged or kissed me and they never told me that they loved me. They might have loved me in their own way, however, as a small child and one who was very loving, this hurt me.
None of my grandparents are alive now, but I had an experience which changed my opinion that my grandad (Daniel, my Dad’s dad) did love me. I went to see a Tarot card reader, something I have never done before and the reason I went along to see her was, in all honest, curiosity. Deep down in my heart, I did not believe that anyone would possibly know anything about me or my history, so when I sat down in the chair, I did not expect to be crying within the first 5 minutes.
She described my Granddad as I remembered him, sitting in his chair looking outside of the window at his garden. She talked about the tattoos he had, how he was tall and what a lonely man he was. She talked about things that were impossible for her to know and the turning point for me was when she spoke about a golden cross that my Nan may possibly have, that my Grandad wanted me to wear it so that he could be closer to me. That touched my heart in way that I cannot explain. The cross is now around my neck and is never taken off.
Little Miss treats her nan and granddad’s home like her own – something I would never have done with my grandparents, she is also very loving towards them too and is never afraid to ask them for anything or even give them a love or a kiss. In all honesty, when I see her do this, I do feel a twang of jealousy, not because it’s my parents but because that is something I never experienced with my grandparents and never will. On the other hand, however, I’m proud and I love the relationship the three of them have and I know that I can leave Little Miss with her grandparents and she will be safe.
I feel that I am not the only person when I say, Little Miss’ life is grandparent orientated. I don’t think that I should feel guilty about this either as I feel that having Little Miss 6 years ago was the right time for me to do so because my parents have had a good relationship with her to date and have enjoyed her grow up and have not missed out on any of her special achievements, but if I had had her later in life, it could be a different story. My parents are hands on in Little Miss’ life because they want to be and not because they feel forced that they have too. The reason they choose to be part of her life too is because it helps me to achieve my aims too, whether it be a college course, job or SODA.
In reality, there are many different reasons why grandparents play an active role in their grand-children’s life and society shouldn’t be so judgmental on why they do so.