Remember this saying as a child, one that was chanted and said many a time at school and as a child you believe this but the reality of the deep, dark and cruel world of domestic abuse this is a lie because names do hurt.
Words cut so deep like a knife, turning and twisting deep into the skin, so deep infact that you feel it rip through to your very soul with those words dripping into your sub-conscious mind, like a leaking tap, bit by bit, filling up your soul and living deep within you.
Names hurt your feelings, live inside your soul leaving invisible scars that you can feel but society can’t see, feel or understand. These names whirl and whizz around in your mind, words echocing in your mind, tightening around your throat, gripping it and adding pressure on it, making it hard for you to breathe, visions of your perpetrator flashing in front of your very eyes, words ringing out in your mind, you’re finding it hard to breathe, think or understand why these words have been said from the very person who claims they love you so much that you will never find anyone like them again, how you need them and how no one else loves you but them.
Psychological abuse is the type of abuse that lasts long after the victim has found the courage and strength to leave the abusive relationship, the one type of abuse that will have the longer lasting affect. Sticks and stones do indeed break bones but names are so powerful, words crunching through your mind and living with you from the very second they are said.
This form of abuse is not taken as seriously enough as it should be because no visible scars are left for the world to see they don’t think it happens, feel it’s not important to address, think it doesn’t have an affect; it does. More awareness and education is needed for society as a whole, especially so professionals and agencies can help support victims of psychological abuse in a more positive way.
Psychological abuse leaves behind so many barriers and hurdles that victims have to learn how to deal and cope with in order for them to overcome the mental scars that hold them back from moving on. This is why I believe it is absolutely paramount for society as a whole to learn about the early warning signs of the complex cycle because it starts of subtly with none physical warning signs. We need to not focus on what we already know about domestic abuse but learn about what we don’t know and what we don’t quiet understand. Isolate is the key ingrediant which spirals out of control, with manipulation, jealousy, possessiveness, humilation and names and words that cut like a knife.
The names and words said by a perpetrator will stay with the survivor forever. They don’t constantly think about them but they will reappear to the surface every now and again, if triggered and this is where the importance of not only education and awareness is needed by how to support and give aftercare for every victim that has suffered this type of abuse. It has a huge affect on the future of survivors; the consequences of psychological abuse is, low self esteem, confidence and worth. Without these how can survivors move forward? How can they have the courage to apply for that new job, enrol on that college course or enquire about that volunteering position when they have been drained of every ounce of self being they ever had.
Psychological abuse is the one type of abuse that allows the perpetrator to continually have power and control; in order to change this awareness, education and a change in attitude must be priorty.