Dear Police Officer…

Just because this is the first time I have called you doesn’t mean it’s the first time I have been abused. 

I’m calling you now because I Can’t take any more, I’m frightened that tomorrow I won’t wake up, that those verbal threats will become reality. 

I’m just so tired I can’t take it anymore, I’m drained physically and psychologically.  I can’t do this anymore, I’m constantly walking on eggshells and every day the goal posts are moved. 

Sorry I can’t talk any louder but if I’m heard there will be consequences for me to pay and this time could be the last. 

I’m not phoning because of a domestic or just a one off, it’s been going on for so long and I’s only just now I’ve managed to admit to myself, let alone you.  I thought it happened in all relationships but I feel so embarrassed to have let this happen.  I feel so guilty for being made to choose between my partner or my friends and family.  I have no-one to talk to, my phone is controlled and my movements monitored, I just can’t take any more. 

Please help me. 

I keep praying that they will change and that I can change them from hurting me but they never do. 

I can’t just leave, I don’t have any safe place to go, I don’t even have any money, it’s all been spent in the pub.  I don’t even have any clothes to wear because when I’ve tried to leave before they’ve been cut up.  My possessions smashed and destroyed.   

I know this is the first time I’ve called you but I’ve been bellowed at, belittled and brainwashed.  I’ve been controlled, beaten and moulded into someone I don’t even recognise.  I’m not calling because of an argument or a temper being lost, I live in fear, if I leave, I’m living in the unknown, constantly looking over my shoulder and wondering what the next step against me will be. 

Even if I do leave, I will be found, harassed, stalked and begged to go back, promises that it will never happen again or threatened to be found and killed. 

You haven’t lived with who I have and you have no idea what they are capable of. 

I’m making this call because I need your help and support.  I’m making this call because I’m saying, enough is enough. 

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